The Speed of Dark (Humor)
My niece asked
me the following question, and naturally, I had to respond.
> OK, so
what's the speed of dark?
I have the
answer to this one: -300,000 km/sec
I found this
out as a result of my research into "Where does the dark
go when you open the closet door?" The answer is that it
rushes out at a negative 300,000 km/sec. Being highly volatile
it evaporates instantly escaping into the upper atmosphere. Eventually
it condenses causing night.
their closets more in the winter (to get coats and such) than
they do in the summer. This explains why the nights are longer
in the winter since there is more dark in the air during these
months. It condenses more quickly and takes longer to "burn
would be in complete darkness if it were not for the invention
of the refrigerator light which is a dark dissipation accelerator.
It works on the same principal as emission control devices in
reserve of dark is dwindling as a result of deforestation. Shade
from trees (a dilute source of dark) is being reduced at an alarming
rate. A lot is being blamed on the use of flashlights which destroy
or put a hole in the dark layer. The Environmental Protection
Agency is looking for a more environmentally friendly light source,
and there is an additional tax on Energizer Batteries.
there is a comprehensive program to investigate renewable sources
of dark such as tapping the undersides of parking lots and buildings.
However, environmentalists are concerned about the effects of
slant drilling on the ecology.
this sheds some light on the subject. <Insert groan here.>